Secret Sexual Lives and Betrayal Trauma:
Repairing the Most Damaging
Wounds to Intimacy
With Gary Katz, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT,
and Jennifer Acker, LCSW, CSAT-S, CPTT-S
Dear Colleague,
Deirdre Fay, MSW, knows the heavy toll of shame firsthand. She experienced horrible self-doubt that often catapulted her into shame spirals.
“I didn’t have a supportive family system or parents who understood my unique qualities. My energy was too much for them; I was too impulsive, too spontaneous, too, too, too much of everything.
And so I grew up ashamed of who I was, believing there was something wrong with me. As a child, that pain was intense.”
When Deirdre started studying attachment theory, she was able to connect the dots between her shame and attachment wounds. But knowledge alone didn’t bring relief.
She spent 30 years learning and practicing techniques to release the shame stored in her body, seeking calm, ease, and an open heart.
Now, she’s ready to share her wisdom to help others dissolve their shame.
- Betrayal Trauma
- Part 1: What it Is, Origins, and Evolution of Treatment
- Part 2: Impacts, Types, and Treatment
- Secret Sexual Behaviors and Entitlement
- Part 1: The Role of Gender
- Part 2: Why Do People Hurt the One They Love Through Secret Sexual Lives?
- A Roadmap for Working with the Couple
- Part 1: The First Session to The First Year
- Part 2: Therapeutic Disclosure and Continuing Treatment
This is a non-shaming, non-pathologizing way of treating couples who want to repair their ruptured relationships.
With all the unprecedented stress we’ve collectively experienced over the past two years, so many couples need your help more than ever.
We look forward to seeing you inside the course!
Warmly,
Gary Katz, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT
Jennifer Acker, LCSW, CSAT-S, CPTT-S
Academy of Therapy Wisdom
This Work is Rewarding Because...
You can quickly help clients in tremendous pain
Many couples who go through the rupture and repair process end up having better relationships
This work opens the door to healing old wounds
Clients are often motivated to do the work to save the relationship
You help clients create healing for the next generation
This work benefits your bottom line as well-there is a deep need for this type of therapy and comprehensive support
You Will Gain...
More confidence dealing with secret sexual lives and betrayal trauma
A deeper, compassionate understanding of the impact of betrayal trauma on the betrayed partner
A deeper, compassionate understanding of secretive sexual behavior and the betraying partner
Skills to help you identify what to watch out for during treatment
A roadmap outlining your treatment plan for couples experiencing this type of rupture
Here's everything that's included:
1) Six Video Training Modules with Gary Katz
2) Six Q&A Call Recordings with Gary Katz and Jennifer Acker
3) Academy of Therapy Wisdom Membership Site
4) Secret Sexual Lives and Betrayal Trauma Takehomes
Plus, these special bonuses...
1) Essential Glossary of Betrayal Trauma and Secret Sexual Lives Terminology PDF
This glossary will provide a quick reference guide for key terminology in the course.
2) Causes of Compulsive Sexual Behaviors Informational Graphic
Quickly review the possible causes of compulsive sexual behavior so that you can identify what might be present in your clients.
3) Disclosure Document Template
This example of a disclosure will help guide you and the betraying partner in sharing the details of their secret life.
4) Emotional Impact Letter Template
When working with the betrayed partner, this template will help them express their feelings clearly to their partner.
5) Letter of Restitution Template
You can use this guide to help couples create a shared vision of their repaired relationship.
6) Therapeutic Disclosure:
A Guide for the Therapist PDF
This provides you with a step-by-step guide for determining if, when, and how to disclose information from the betraying partner’s secret sexual life.
7) Introduction Video: Challenges of Creating Lasting Change when There has Been Betrayal
The betrayed partner often feels like their life has been turned upside down… This video helps you identify some of the issues that could arise when helping a couple repair the rupture between them.
8) Exclusive Video with Gary Katz: Is Sex Addiction Real?
Sex Addiction is a controversial subject. Learn more about the nuances of compulsive sexual behaviors and how to identify them.
9) Bonus Business Training Video from Gary Katz: How to set up your practice to help these clients
This video looks at the business side of therapy to help you create an environment that fosters healing for couples in crisis.
Here’s What You’ll Learn Inside
Secret Sexual Lives and Betrayal Trauma
MODULE 1
Betrayal Trauma: What it Is, Origins, and Evolution of Treatment
In this first module, we will look at the evolution of approaches to treating betrayed partners and the ways that partners can be harmed if treated with outdated methods. We will also look at the evolution from the codependency approach to the betrayal trauma approach, and how the impacts of betrayal trauma meet nearly all of the criteria for PTSD and, sometimes, Complex PTSD. We will examine some of the misdiagnoses of partners who have undergone betrayal trauma and how to differentiate between the misdiagnoses and betrayal trauma.
You will learn:
- What betrayal trauma is and how the concept developed
- What is the most damaging phase of betrayal trauma
- How the symptoms of PTSD and Complex PTSD are present in those who have experienced betrayal trauma
- What happens that causes betrayed partners to almost always say, "I don't even recognize myself anymore."
MODULE 2
Betrayal Trauma: Impacts, Types, and Treatment
Attachment Theory has given us an additional understanding of how our sense of self-worth, as well as feelings of security and safety, evolve. These feelings continue to be affected by our attachments throughout life, and especially our attachment to our primary partner. Understanding attachment is essential to understanding the depth and breadth of the impact of betrayal trauma. We will take an in-depth look at what happens in each of the three phases of betrayal trauma so that you will be prepared to help partners through each phase.
You will learn:
- The different types of 'discovery' that lead to betrayal trauma
- How betrayal trauma fragments one's sense of reality
- The different types of impacts that betrayal trauma can have on a person
- The different types of trauma embedded in betrayal trauma
MODULE 3
Secret Sexual Behaviors and Entitlement
Part 1: The Role of Gender
In this session, we will explore how gender roles impact both men and women as a result of the unique expectations placed on them that are caused by how we socialize boys and girls. We will also look at how this can lead to deprivation of intimacy and nurturance, which can result in seeking secret sexual lives. Additionally, we will examine how one’s relationship with sexuality and early experiences around it has the potential to create secret sexual lives.
You will learn:
- How our roles of gender make it easier for men to be dismissive of women's feelings
- Why empathy seems so hard for men when their partners are hurting
- How emotional illiteracy creates shame and how shame can actually be a way to help get in touch with feelings
- How entitlement enables the creation of secret sexual lives and disregards the harm it causes
MODULE 4
Secret Sexual Behaviors and Entitlement
Part 2: Why Do People Hurt the One They Love Through Secret Sexual Lives?
When working with clients, getting specific details of their sexual behaviors often provides insight into how they may be stuck in a trauma reenactment or an attempt to gain mastery over it. In this module, we will review additional underlying causes of secret sexual behaviors connected to trauma and how to look for them when assessing a client. We will also touch on how culture, religion, and family structures can play a role in secret sexual lives.
You will learn:
- How to help clients understand the origin of their secret sexual behaviors so they can begin to see themselves with more self-compassion
- How to help clients connect their childhood experiences to their adult behaviors
- How traumatic splits shape personality and lead to compartmentalization
- How to treat clients with both the compulsion and entitlement of secret sexual behaviors
MODULE 5
Roadmap for Working with the Couple
Part 1: The First Session to The First Year
It is important to become familiar with the common ways couples react and what they do during therapy so you can let them know what to expect and how to handle conflict. There are common themes and experiences that arise so that when they do show up in sessions, you can guide the couple with a knowing, steady hand. We will look at what to do in your first sessions with clients and how it is crucial to setting the tone for the remainder of the work to be done.
You will learn:
- How to help a couple feel held by you, the therapist
- How to work with a couple when you know there is still dishonesty happening in the relationship and inĀ therapy
- How to care for yourself when dealing with intense couples
- What to expect the couple to deal with in the first few weeks and months and how to effectively work with them
MODULE 6
Roadmap for Working with the Couple
Part 2: Therapeutic Disclosure and Continuing Treatment
In our final module, we will discuss the continued repair for the couple over the next year and the typical challenges they experience. We will also walk through the formal therapeutic disclosure process and discuss how to prepare for it and facilitate it so that the couple has the best chance possible for a healing experience of creating repair and new trust in the relationship.
You will learn:
- What to expect the couple to experience in the second year post-discovery
- How to use the process of therapeutic disclosure to create a relationship of transparency and trust
- When a therapeutic disclosure is helpful and when it is damaging
- What an emotional impact letter is and how it can give voice to the betrayed partner, increase safety, and help repair the ruptures created by betrayal
Our courses are
At the Intersection of Psychotherapy, spirituality, and social change
WE BELIEVE LEARNING SHOULD CHALLENGE YOU AND CHANGE YOU.
Secret Sexual Lives and Betrayal Trauma:
Repairing the Most Damaging Wounds to Intimacy
Program Summary
1) Six Video Training Modules with Gary Katz
2) Six Recorded Q&A Calls with Gary Katz and Jennifer Acker
3) Academy of Therapy Wisdom Membership Site
4) Secret Sexual Lives and Betrayal Trauma Takehomes
Plus, these special bonuses:
1) Essential Glossary of Betrayal Trauma and Secret Sexual Lives Terminology
2) Causes of Compulsive Sexual Behaviors Informational Graphic
3) Disclosure Document Template
4) Emotional Impact Letter Template
5) Letter of Restitution Template
6) Therapeutic Disclosure: A Guide for the Therapist PDF
7) Bonus Video: Challenges of Creating Lasting Change when There has Been Betrayal
8) Exclusive Video with Gary Katz: Is Sex Addiction Real?
9) Bonus Business Training Video from Gary Katz: How to set up your practice to help these clients
Ā
ENROLL NOW
Single Payment of
$397
Join Gary Katz and Jennifer AckerĀ for this special six-week online training course
If you are a BIPOC helping professional,
please accept our discounted enrollment price for this course by clicking here.
We are glad to have you with us!
100% Risk-Free Money-Back Guarantee
We are confident you will really enjoy and benefit from this online training. However, if you are not 100% satisfied with your purchase, please contact our support team at support@363019f6be.nxcli.io within 7 days of your purchase date and we will give you a full refund, no questions asked.
Meet Your Presenters...
Gary Katz, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT
Gary Katz, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, is the founder of The Center for Intimacy Recovery and Seen Therapy at the Center for Women’s Intimacy, in New York.Ā Both of his practices focus primarily on intimacy and relationships. Gary has found that without a sense of intimacy with oneself, people can’t fully experience intimacy with someone else. He believes that because our hearts are fragile and we develop strategies to keep them safe and avoid getting hurt. Often these strategies later become maladaptive and stop serving us or they hold us back from achieving the connection and intimacy we are actually seeking. The Center for Intimacy Recovery and Seen Therapy both help clients to find ways to have the intimacy and connection in life that they are seeking.Ā
Jennifer Acker, LCSW, CSAT-S, CPTT-S
Jennifer Acker, LCSW, CSAT-S, CPTT-S, focuses on helping clients develop and maintain authentic and fulfilling relationships with the self, first and foremost, and, secondly, with others. She is certiļ¬ed in sex addiction treatment (CSAT), sensorimotor psychotherapy (SP), trauma-sensitive HeartMath, post-induction training (PIT),Ā intensive somatic attachment and trauma resolution, and eye movement desensitization reprocessing (EMDR). Most recently she has trained with Dana Childs in energy healing and Kelly McDaniel in Mother Hunger work. Jen has found that each one of these techniques relates to one another, and she uses them all organically depending on what seems appropriate for each client, giving each person their own unique recipe of treatment.
Testimonials
“I spent over two very foggy years (and many attempts with 4 other therapists) floundering after my separation. I agreed to meet Gary from a list of several recommended professionals with zero optimism that anything would be different. I was surprised to be wrong. Gary is a pensive, insightful, pulls-no-punches type of counselor whom I felt I could trust from the start. I felt heard and respected but also challenged by him. His counsel has definitely helped me.”
– Rachel (New Jersey)
“After having tried out a number of therapists to find the right fit, I found Gary. I stuck with Gary and, still, after five years, have found he has stuck with me. Gary has this phenomenal manner of balancing compassion, care, and clarity in such a way that regardless of where you are or what you bring, you are never met with uncertainty nor left unheard. Each passing year has only confirmed what I felt in those first few sessions-that he is as gifted and insightful a therapist as he is gracious a human being.”
– Matthew (Washington, D.C.)
“My wife and I are so grateful that we found Gary Katz and made the decision to entrust him with our therapeutic care. With great empathy, love, and support (and sometimes some much-needed humor), Gary has worked patiently with us to help us navigate the beginning process of healing our marriage. Gradually, we have found hope in a situation that once felt hopeless.”
–Ā K & D (NYC)
Secret Sexual Lives and Betrayal Trauma:
Repairing the Most Damaging Wounds to Intimacy
Program Summary
1) Six Video Training Modules with Gary Katz
2) Six Recorded Q&A Calls with Gary Katz and Jennifer Acker
3) Academy of Therapy Wisdom Membership Site
4) Secret Sexual Lives and Betrayal Trauma Takehomes
Plus, these special bonuses:
1) Essential Glossary of Betrayal Trauma and Secret Sexual Lives Terminology
2) Causes of Compulsive Sexual Behaviors Informational Graphic
3) Disclosure Document Template
4) Emotional Impact Letter Template
5) Letter of Restitution Template
6) Therapeutic Disclosure: A Guide for the Therapist PDF
7) Bonus Video: Challenges of Creating Lasting Change when There has Been Betrayal
8) Exclusive Video with Gary Katz: Is Sex Addiction Real?
9) Bonus Business Training Video from Gary Katz: How to set up your practice to help these clients
Ā
ENROLL NOW
Single Payment of
$397
Join Gary Katz and Jennifer AckerĀ for this special six-week online training course
If you are a BIPOC helping professional,
please accept our discounted enrollment price for this course by clicking here.
We are glad to have you with us!
Frequently Asked Questions:
Is this course live or pre-recorded?
This course has six recorded training sessions with Gary Katz, plus six recorded training calls with Gary Katz and Jennifer Acker.
What is Academy of Therapy Wisdom?
The Academy of Therapy Wisdom is an inspiring, multidimensional platform for learning, with courses & videos that are easy to use, access & digest. Our goal is to help you become a more confident, capable & compassionate therapist who works with their clients in a new way.