In December 2022, in addition to our courses for therapists, we published our annual Wise Therapy Spotlight publication. This collection of essays and artwork from our psychotherapy training community, as well as the greater psychotherapy community of therapists is a way we support getting a variety of voices out into the conversations we need to have together as therapists.
This year´s guiding question was, “How do you sustain hope and resilience?”
Enjoy this essay response by NaKaisha Tolbert-Banks, LCSW, LCAC, CLYL, CPC. Download the full PDF publication here: Wise Therapy Spotlight December 2022 Issue
Reflection on how do you sustain hope and resilience?
NaKaisha Tolbert-Banks, LCSW, LCAC, CLYL, CPC
Each day brings new and exciting adventures. Let’s be honest; as a Social Worker and Therapist, I can honestly say I have never had the same day twice. The new adventures that I speak of come with their fair share of ups and downs, and the exciting adventures are those, sometimes, unexpected interactions, sessions, or community-connected events that bring me joy and a sense of hope for individuals, families, and our communities.
So how do I sustain hope and resilience? My faith.
I have said it many times since the pandemic of 2020; if you have not learned one lesson that has grown you, shaped your life differently, or given you a different perspective on life, you may have missed the boat. It is an exciting journey being a Social Worker post-2020. For those who are Social Workers or anyone in the helping profession, for that matter, I’m sure you can relate. I have heard some highly devastating stories, and I have listened to some truly phenomenal stories of resilience and people who have made it through some of life’s darkest and most harrowing moments.
As I reflect on the stories shared all around the world, post-2020, it is humbling. I have seen how resilient people have had to be to survive, and it infuses me with such hope that we are and can be resilient people. My faith says to me that I can hope for the best, but I also need to put action with that faith. So as I begin each day, usually much earlier than those in my home, so that I can breathe, reflect, and connect with my environment and how the day may need me to show up, I then feel more resolved to begin my day with the hope that all will be well, and even if it is not, I know that I have what it takes to make it through the day.
Resilience, to me, is a warrior title.
To say he, she, or they are resilient means he, she, or they have faced some challenges but have overcome the rough patch and thrived under the circumstance. My morning and evening reflections allow me to focus and be more present in the day for those I serve, be it family, clients, or those within the community. I genuinely believe that navigating life’s journey allows others to view the resiliency you exude, and it can be a hope spreader that, “I too can overcome… I, too, can bring about change; I too can hope for the best, and adding a little faith with it, you end up in a better space.”
Through my resilience, I am hopeful. And let’s be clear. Although I don’t aim to be resilient, I have no choice but to be resilient. The circumstances of the lives of Black Americans position us to have to show up differently. I hope I never lose faith in continuing this life’s journey. As I serve each day, I remember the importance of instilling hope in those I am blessed to serve. As a Black woman and service provider, resiliency allows me to better connect with and help those within the community.
As I am aware of the struggles I have endured not only as a Black woman but as a Black Social Worker and Therapist, resiliency is a must, as I owe it to those I serve. Iron sharpens iron, and therefore, as I am of service to my clients, they are also a blessing to me. The ultimate hope I have daily is that every encounter affords someone a glimmer of hope that their day, week, or month will be better than the latter. Each circumstance faced in life will offer me a new perspective and remind me that I can overcome all things through my faith being intact and continuing to move forward.
Having a support system who can encourage me, pray with me, laugh with me, listen to me, and do those things without judgment is vital. Additionally, the healthier I am mentally and physically allows each of my clients to be served in a way that is most beneficial and empowering to them in a world that is not as kind and understanding of Black people. Yes, I understand that as Black Americans, we have many obstacles we dodge every single day; however, I am optimistic that with each passing day, we can use our resilient ways to encourage and promote change within inequitable systems diverted outside of the Black community. I hope that with each smile, each word of encouragement I speak, and each supportive act, the reciprocation is powerful and meaningful for each person within our communities. It is a true gift to discover how they can utilize their hope and resilience for the betterment of their lives and that of their families and communities.
A redoubtable quote by the honorable Maya Angelou states:
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
As a Black woman, mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, therapist, and colleague, I hope that I continue to be present with how I make people feel; to be seen and to be heard is the greatest gift we can give to any human being. May we all be hopeful that our resilient paths lead us to be human and kind to all.
I close with a picture of me in nature, reminding me of my hope for humanity. Nature has so many elements of beauty and splendor. Yet, it is in the small moments, that life can sometimes offer us the greatest gifts.
NaKaisha Tolbert-Banks holds a Masters degree in Social Work, is a LCSW, LCAC, Certified Laughter Yoga Leader, Certified Professional Coach with an emphasis in Positive Psychology, and an Energy Leadership Master Practitioner. She has worked in various capacities throughout her career, enjoying her work in Child Welfare and Mental Health.
NaKaisha is the Founder & CEO of D.U.O. EmpowerMEnt Services, LLC which provides: therapeutic counseling, life coaching, mental wellness consulting and training services.
Learn more about Nakaisha’s work at www.nakaishatolbertbanks.com
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