Episode 7 • 50 Minutes
The Crucible of Connection with Deirdre Fay:
Attachment, Trauma, and the Path to Flourishing
About the Podcast
The Therapy Wisdom Podcast is a space where those stories come to life. Hosted by Brian Spielmann, each episode brings you into conversation with the remarkable faculty behind Academy of Therapy Wisdom.
The Story Behind the Episode
How to be a successful therapist? It often requires the humility to move beyond conceptual theory and slide through the “granular cracks” of lived experience. In this soulful conversation, Therapy Wisdom Podcast host Brian Spielmann, founding CEO of Academy of Therapy Wisdom, a leading continuing education platform for mental health professionals, sits down with clinical pioneer Deirdre Fay. Deirdre Fay, a trauma and attachment expert and author of Becoming Safely Embodied, shares her journey from living in a safe ashram cocoon to the “trenches” of the Trauma Center in Boston. They explore the intersection of ancient mystical traditions and modern psychology, the vital developmental task of remapping attachment styles, and why true clinical wisdom is born from the messy, vulnerable practice of repair.
Key Takeaways & Answer Blocks:
How can I help dissociative clients connect with the present moment without overwhelming them? Deirdre Fay: You must break the process down into tiny, granular steps that focus on “downscaling” everything you know. Start by helping the client differentiate between a thought, a feeling, and a body sensation; by realizing there is a present moment separate from the past, they can learn to live on parallel lines rather than being hijacked by old trauma imprints.
What is the role of attachment theory in trauma recovery? Deirdre Fay: Attachment theory is a linchpin because 77% of us continue with the same early imprints and non-narrative interactions unless we actively change them. As adults, our developmental task is to know ourselves from the inside out so we can be in healthy relationships, rather than demanding the outside world change to make us feel better.
How do I balance spiritual practices like meditation with clinical therapy? Deirdre Fay: It is about the “view” or perspective you engage the world from. While meditation helps stabilize the mind, we must avoid the “hell realm” of taking our thoughts too seriously; instead, use the skillful means of therapy to update the narrative—recognizing that while a feeling may be real and relative, it is not the only truth of who we are
Links:
- Free Online webinar with Deirdre Fay, MSW: https://therapywisdom.com/treating-attachment-disorder-training-deirdre-fay/
Hosted by Brian Spielmann
Founder of Academy of Therapy Wisdom.