Watch this FREE video by Rafaella Smith-Fiallo, LCSW
Approaching Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Psychotherapy
Every type of therapist is confronted with issues about sex. Whether you work with kids exploring sexuality, intimate partners with differing desires, individuals navigating asexuality, or elders wondering what to expect when aging, you want to be able to support your clients.
In this free video, you will learn about:
- The need for therapists to have an expanded, inclusive, and updated understanding of sexuality and sexual desire so you can effectively help any client.
- How to normalize sexual desire discrepancies so you can get to the root of the problem: communication.
- Communication as the key to resolving sexual issues.
- How to assess sexual desire through various lenses so you can understand what is underlying ___________
- Integrating a sex-positive, trauma-informed approach in therapy.
- The 6 Ps of sexual desire so you have a framework for approaching desire discrepancies.
"Couples wait an average of six years before seeking couples therapy." - Dr. John Gottman
Rafaella will share how she has blended her experience as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Sexuality Educator, and Certified Trauma Therapist to provide inclusive education and therapy to her clients.
She will share a liberatory framework that centers on pleasure, empowerment, and decolonizing our minds to create change.
And she will give you tools for creating confident and comfortable conversations about sex so non-sex therapists can help their clients without referring them out.
Did You Know?
Liberation psychology provides a way to understand people in the context of their economic, political, cultural, and historical conditions.
A liberation framework recognizes the impact of these systemic factors and offers a holistic approach to treating complex trauma by addressing these root causes. One of the key elements of the liberation framework is its focus on empowering individuals to take control of their healing.
The liberation framework has a central tenet of social justice and radical change by using culturally relevant approaches, Indigenous healing, and internally-generated solutions over mainstream psychotherapy approaches.
Rafaella Smith-Fiallo, LCSW
Rafaella Smith-Fiallo, LCSW (she/ella) is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Sexuality Educator, and Certified Trauma Therapist. She is the founder of Healing Exchange LLC, a multi-state, education and mental health private practice committed to providing sex-positive, trauma-informed, pleasure-centered, and inclusive education, therapy, and professional development. She also co-founded Afrosexology, a sex education business centering the pleasure, empowerment, and liberation of Black people.
Rafaella is an international educator, consultant, and author who has been featured in media outlets such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, HuffPost, Teen Vogue, Vibe Magazine, and Broadly. Rafaella has two mottos that drive her practice and personal life, "You deserve peace and pleasure in all of your relationships, especially the one with yourself," and "If you want things to be different, you have to do things differently." With that said, she is committed to engaging in and creating radical change and community liberation through centering pleasure politics.
Understanding Sexual Desire: Insights for Therapists
Sexual desire discrepancies occur when partners have differing levels of sexual desire, creating tension in relationships. These issues often show up in therapy sessions, creating challenges for therapists who work with couples or individuals. Rafaella helps therapists explore sexual desire discrepancy and provides insights for therapists on how to navigate these complex issues.
Communication Skills for Couples with Sexual Concerns
Effective communication is a crucial skill for couples who face sexual desire discrepancies. Many couples avoid discussing their sexual needs, leading to misunderstandings and conflict. Rafaella Smith-Fiallo's free video highlights the importance of communication skills for couples with sexual concerns and provides practical tips for therapists to help couples bridge this communication gap.
Working with Desire Discrepancy in Therapy
As therapists, understanding sexual desire discrepancy is key to providing effective treatment. When couples have different sexual preferences or mismatched levels of intimacy, it can lead to frustration and resentment. Understanding how to talk about sex in therapy is a crucial skill. Here's how Rafaella's video addresses these issues:
- Normalizing Sexual Desire Discrepancies: Rafaella discusses how therapists can help couples understand that sexual desire discrepancies are common and not something to be ashamed of.
- Assessing Sexual Desire: The video explains different approaches to assessing sexual desire, considering various factors such as emotional connection, physical attraction, and overall relationship dynamics.
- Integrating a Sex-Positive Approach: A sex-positive, trauma-informed approach can help couples feel comfortable discussing their desires without judgment. Rafaella provides valuable insights on how therapists can foster a safe and inclusive environment for these discussions.
What You'll Learn in This Free Video
Rafaella Smith-Fiallo's free video offers comprehensive guidance on how to address sexual desire discrepancies in therapy. Here's what you'll learn:
- The Need for Inclusive Understanding of Sexuality: Therapists need an inclusive and updated understanding of sexuality and sexual desire. This is essential for effectively helping clients with various sexual concerns.
- Communication is Key: Communication is crucial for resolving sexual issues. Rafaella provides strategies to help couples communicate openly about their desires and preferences.
- The 6 Ps of Sexual Desire: Rafaella introduces a framework for understanding sexual desire, helping therapists identify and address the underlying causes of desire discrepancies.
Why Sexual Desire Discrepancies Occur
Sexual desire discrepancies can occur for various reasons. Understanding these reasons can help therapists work with couples effectively:
- Different Preferences: Partners may have different sexual preferences, such as intimacy styles, frequency, or initiation methods.
- Emotional Disconnect: When partners feel emotionally disconnected, it can lead to reduced sexual desire.
- Stress and Life Changes: Stress from work, family, or other life events can affect sexual desire.
Additionally, significant life changes, such as having children or aging, can impact intimacy.
Rafaella's video addresses these common causes and provides practical advice for therapists working with couples experiencing sexual desire discrepancies.
Embracing a Liberation Framework
In addition to addressing desire discrepancies, Rafaella's video emphasizes the importance of a liberation framework in therapy. Liberation psychology focuses on understanding people in the context of their social, economic, political, and cultural conditions. It promotes a holistic approach to treating complex trauma by addressing root causes. Therapists can use this framework to empower clients and support radical change through culturally relevant approaches and Indigenous healing methods.
By embracing this framework, therapists can help clients navigate sexual desire discrepancies while fostering an environment that values social justice and radical change.
Desire Discrepancy: The Lasting Impact
When sexual desire discrepancies are not addressed, they can have a lasting impact on relationships. Couples may become emotionally distant or resentful, and these issues can escalate over time. Desire discrepancy can lead to serious relationship problems if not handled properly. Rafaella's video provides essential tools for therapists to address these issues and help couples rebuild their emotional connections.
By learning effective communication skills and adopting a sex-positive, trauma-informed approach, therapists can make a significant difference in the lives of their clients. Rafaella's insights offer a comprehensive guide to understanding and addressing sexual desire discrepancies, allowing therapists to navigate these complex issues with confidence and compassion.
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